Since my last post on 31 July 2020, a lot has happened.
Actually it started way back in May, when my dad who’s living alone, had a fall that we didn’t think much of, and was admitted to the hospital.
To make things complicated, the COVID-19 situation in Singapore didn’t make it easy for us to visit him frequently.
Since his situation worsened early August up until his passing on 18 August 2020, my hardcore deliberate practice schedule came to a standstill.
Let’s just say when we come face to face with a death of a family member, or someone we love, it makes you rethink everything about life and your life. Reprioritize what’s important.
My quest remains on finding out what and how things really work: What it takes for us to live happy, fulfilled and successful lives.
But to begin with, we need to face the fact that
1. We gotta be alive for that to be valid.
2. Death is inevitable.
Then it got me thinking about faith and religions. The role of religion in our lives. But at the same time, how do we wear the different hats?
I’ve struggled and failed to document the details of my dad’s passing even though the logical mind wanted to. So much for wanting to write a book in memory of my dad, what I’ve learned from our estranged-to-reconciled relationship over the 33 years he left us. Each time I recall the details that felt so fresh and raw, I couldn’t help but break down each time.
So now that the memories have gotten fuzzy and the feelings calmed, only do I have the strength put down in words, in memory of you, Papa.